Post and Pre-Nuptial Agreements: Unlikely Love Letters Than Can Protect Your Marriage

Nothing says love quite like a pre-nuptial (or even a post-nuptial) agreement, right? While they may not be the most romantic love letter, there is something to be said for the peace of mind they can offer, particularly when done collaboratively through mediation. Here’s how they can actually protect your marriage.

Prenup versus Postnup Agreements

Both of these agreements stipulate how a couple will divide assets should their marriage end. Neither of these addresses the couple’s existing or future children, so they should really be seen as more of a financial tool. The main difference between the two is that a pre-nuptial agreement (prenup) takes place before marriage while a post-nuptial agreement (postnup) takes place after a couple is married.

Prenups are common when:

  • One partner comes into the marriage with much more wealth
  • One partner earns significantly more than the other
  • You are remarrying
  • One partner comes into the marriage with significant debt
  • One partner is a business owner
  • You want to keep an inheritance in your name or your children’s names

Postnups are common when:

  • A couple intended to sign a prenup but were unable to do so before their wedding
  • A couple wants to revisit their prenup, making it more up-to-date and relevant to their current financial status.
  • A couple has accumulated more assets than they anticipated when they first married

Prenup Peace of Mind

So, we know prenups get a bad rap, but it’s often because their purpose is taken out of context. Here’s what financial guru,Suze Orman, has to say about them, “First, drawing up a prenuptial agreement together is a sign of incredible trust and financial openness—you’re fooling yourself if you think you can achieve complete intimacy without it.”

In fact, prenups and postnups can actually help with issues that are commonly cited as reasons for divorce: money and communication. They do so by:

  • Avoiding surprises – A prenup fosters openness about finances from the very beginning by putting everything on the table in terms of assets and debts so neither of you is surprised later on.
  • Setting the tone for healthy communication – If you can talk about finances thoughtfully and rationally you can talk about anything, right? It’s a great stepping stone to communicating ALL your values and goals beyond finances to make sure you’re on the same page before marriage.
  • Making decisions in love – As opposed to after hurt and resentment has settled in during a divorce. While hopefully you’ll never have to look at the agreement again once it’s done; if you do need it down the road it will make things much more amicable and straightforward.
  • Providing a sense of security – It’s easier to have peace of mind in a marriage if you know that you’re protected come what may in the future. In addition, knowing you can work together to take positive steps for your future together provides comfort and security as well.

Benefits of Post and Prenup Mediation

Mediating prenups and postnups are becoming much more common. In this process you’ll work with a trained mediator who acts as a neutral third party to guide your discussions in a comfortable, confidential space using communication techniques that ensure you are both heard and reach mutual agreement. It benefits you not only by helping you collaborate together, but also by showing you how to communicate effectively with each other. Plus, it can save you money in legal fees if a lawyer only has to review the final agreement versus billing you by the hour to hash out the details.

Interested in a pre-nuptial or post-nuptial agreement? Learn more about our online mediation services by contacting our experienced team today!

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