There are many things that change after a divorce, and how you manage the holidays is a major one. Blended Families are even more challenged during holiday times. With Mother’s Day upon us, managing the stress that can come with the expectations and communications between families is important.
Fortunately, there are some things that you can do to help make the entire experience easier for both you and your kids.
Accept that Things are Different
The first, and likely most important, thing that you can do to make co-parenting successful is accepting the fact that things are going to be different. There are many traditions that will need to be changed (or even abandoned) because they just aren’t possible anymore. If you enter these holidays with the understanding that things have changed, you will be less likely to get upset or disappointed.
Plan Well in Advance
Planning the day as far in advance as possible will help ensure your family is able to enjoy all that the day has to offer. In addition to planning things in advance, make sure you communicate early – one tip is to get plans in writing (even just via text) so you can ensure you both are on the same page when it comes to the schedule for the day. Understand that with Mother’s Day, there may now be two families to accommodate. Splitting the day requires concise and clear communication. Flexibility is key to new traditions!
Start New Mother’s Day Traditions
Since there is no way to maintain old family traditions exactly as they have been in the past, make sure you come up with some new ones to fill the void. Come up with ideas that you and your children will enjoy and find a time that you can work it into the schedule – it may be brunch with part of the family and dinner with the other. Communicating these ideas clearly and calmly and being open to suggestions will help.
Remember, although Mother’s Day is about the mothers, it is also about the kids having fun and enjoying the day. Don’t make it stressful for them! Make these days fun memories, not stressful ones.
Take Some Time for Yourself
There are going to be times when you do not have your children with you on important days. While this can definitely be sad, it is also a great opportunity to focus on some self-care. Just because you would rather be with your kids does not mean that the day has to be ruined! See if you can schedule time with other friends and family. If not, consider planning a day focused on all your favorite activities like renting a great movie, ordering your favorite meal, and more. Investing in your own self-care will not only be enjoyable, but will also help to make you a better parent for when you are with your kids.
With a little effort, you can make sure that days such as Mother’s Day are a joy-filled time for you and your children. And remember, even if not everything goes exactly as you hope this year, there is always next year to improve and move on so make sure to focus on the positive all year long. If you still feel yourself needing more support during this time, don’t hesitate to contact us.
