Earth Day is about raising awareness of the need to protect our planet’s natural resources and learning how you can do your part for the environment. You’ll hear about planting trees, conserving water, recycling, and reducing your use of plastics, and we’ve got another one for you: virtual breakups. Surprising, right? However, with no vehicle emissions or paper required, it gives new meaning to the term “clean break.” But beyond that, go with us here as we give you the whys and hows of virtual breakups.
Face-to-Face Redefined
Conventional wisdom has always dictated that serious discussions, like ending a relationship, should take place face to face. It gives the relationship and your soon-to-be-ex the respect they deserve and helps you to build emotional strength as well as character. However, the way we communicate with each other has changed over the years. This is not only due to technological advances, but also more recently with the pandemic limiting in-person social interactions for a time. As such, more of our lives are virtual, from working to shopping to socializing, and quite honestly, whether for better or worse we’re becoming more comfortable with it. That’s why, particularly for younger age groups, the concept of face-to-face communication has expanded beyond physically being in the same room to also include seeing each other through the device screen.
Virtual Breakup Tips
Let’s be clear, by virtual breakup we don’t mean by text or email, or social media post. We still think it’s important to be face-to-face in some capacity, whether it’s Facetime, Zoom, or something else when ending your relationship. Again, for respect, but also to more clearly communicate your feelings. Who hasn’t misinterpreted a text, right? These tips can help you break the news.
- Be honest – We’re not talking about a personal attack on all the ways your soon-to-be-ex falls short. But, in a respectful way, tell them your honest reason(s) for ending things. Don’t skirt the real issue to spare their feelings as it’s important they know where you’re coming from to provide closure and so there’s no confusion. Plus, it can be therapeutic for you as well.
- Practice what you’re going to say – Winging a conversation like this typically does not end well. To avoid saying things you don’t mean and/or forgetting the things you do want to say, it’s best to practice ahead of time. And not just what you’re going to say, think about how your soon-to-be-ex might respond and questions they might ask so you’re prepared for that as well.
- Keep a cool head – Breaking up is hard to do and regardless of whether you both know the relationship is over, or not, the person that officially ends it is often painted as the villain. No one likes to be dumped and you can expect a response whether it’s hurt, betrayal, anger, or all of the above. But regardless of how they might bait you, keep your end goal in mind. Losing your temper will only make things worse in the end.
- Don’t waver – Breaking up with someone is not something to take lightly. If you’re serious about it and are confident in your reasons for doing so then don’t let them talk you out of it. You may feel guilty, but that’s no reason to stay in a relationship that’s not working. Your feelings and happiness are just as important as theirs.
- Talk about logistics – Most breakups aren’t as simple as telling the other person it’s over and that’s the end of it. You may have items you need to give back to each other, you may share accounts, live together, and/or have children together. It may be too upsetting to talk through all the details during the initial breakup discussion, but at least put a general plan out there.
- Give them space – Yes, it is possible to be friends, or at least friendly with your ex, especially if children are involved. However, if you broke up with them then you need to follow through. Give them the space to process and don’t confuse the issue by contacting them just to talk or get together. It’s essential for closure and to help you both move on.
We offer divorce coaching and mediation services that are virtual as well. For more information, contact our experienced team today.
